You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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