Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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