What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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