Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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