So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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