I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
