Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
