I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
