Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
