i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
