we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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