I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
