If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
