I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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