Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
