come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Small penises have feelings too.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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