I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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