Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
