if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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