all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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