My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
