Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i love accidental penises.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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