absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
