Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
