My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
