My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize