It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
