I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He felt like a one man threesome
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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