Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
