If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
