I'm gonna have a badass scar
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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