Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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