Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
PANTIES FOUND
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