its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
