Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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