Your tits are I can't wait for
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
