he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
