I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
