White coat. Heels.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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