Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize