pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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