I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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