how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have fence marks all over my body
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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