you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
