I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
