just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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