I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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