so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
