Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We were destined to go to rehab together
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize