Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
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