Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
