then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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