I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
