Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
