I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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