Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
