Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize