So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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